Saturday, December 23, 2006

Blogger Blockage

Yes, it's been nearly 6 weeks since I've posted. I got to a creative impasse, a ravine too wide to jump across. There have been many false starts, but nothing came of them. I began to mistrust my own voice, to have doubts about saying anything worth saying. I suffered from blogger envy, comparing myself unfavorably with other, better, more profound or poetic or artistic or meaningful or politically savvy bloggers. It began to spread, so that I also had trouble reading other blogs, even though there are many that I love. It spilled over into my other creative activities. I haven't made a drawing or a painting, written anything, or even painted my own toenails. I've been stuck inside my head, churning around in a wallow of doubt and stagnation. Today I say ENOUGH already! It's time to get over it, and just be who I am again, and have that be enough.

Poetry always has been important to me. A friend sent this little jewel a few days ago - I think it says it all:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

-Leonard Cohen

7 comments:

Lulu Maude said...

Wow! Wonderful poem and good to keep in mind. I struggle with the same self doubts.

We're on the other side of the solstice, speaking of light... may your days be bright.

Mary ND said...

I'm so glad you're back. I've missed you.

I've been going through something similar to what you describe. Not sure what it's about. Seasonal affective disorder? Dealing with aspects of growing older? Holiday blues?

Whatever it is in your case, I want you to know that your willingness and ability to write about the hard spots is part of your creative magic. Take all the breaks you need, mi amiga, but trust me when I say that what you write is profoundly important to me.

KJ said...

Well, what you said today sure rang a bell! Love the poem... it fits so well.

robin andrea said...

Welcome back. I have missed you. I have those doubts too. You should hear how often I tell Roger that I'm going to stop blogging. Then, something happens. I see something, and I am inspired. I feel something, and I am inspired. I remember something, and I am inspired. It must be the crack in the bell that lets in all that inspiration. I didn't even know I could ring, and here we are ringing.

DivaJood said...

Blogging is really just a personal journey. And it's a way to connect with a wide ranging community of like-minded people. When someone stops blogging, well, we missed you!

Barb Cabot said...

Each one of us doubts ourselves at some time or another. You are such a lovely being. When you do not write I miss you very much. Whenever you are ready there will be those of us who wake up and want to see what you are seeing, want to feel what you are feeling. You being the "light" into many of our lives. Sending you love and good cheer.

Dotty Stripes said...

Hurray and Welcome back. I LOVE this poem and YOU!